Embrace the imperfections of your body. Those imperfections are merely the scars of endurance, and self perseverance. Our bodies age and with age comes new phases in our lives
The first scar is seen above, right below my belly button. This scar was from when I was two months old. My mom says that I kept vomiting, and nothing they fed me would stay down. As all parents do, we call our pediatricians and seek advice. They told my mom that it was probably just a stomach virus. When it was not getting any better my parents decided to get me checked, and that's when the doctors felt an obstruction in my stomach. I was instantly rushed into surgery. The doctors took x-rays and could see that my intestines were tangled, but because I was so small they couldn't see how much of the intestine was damaged. Which is why they had to start surgery right away. They told my parents that if the intestine was severely damaged, that I would have to be fed through a tube the rest of my life. After my surgery they estimated that I would be in the NICU for about two weeks before getting into another room before discharge. They gave me some type of medicine to help show the doctors that if my intestines started to work this medicine would show up in my stool. After 24 hours they saw the medicine and were shocked to see that my body was already starting to heal and function properly. My mom said that I was in the hospital for less than two weeks. I survived and pushed through odds, because of the love, prayers and support my parents gave me.
Mark and I were excited to learn about having twins, but then our pregnancy called for an emergency c-section at 25 weeks. We were scared, and didn't know what to expect for our twins, or how we would get through this. As they brought me into the operating room, my emotions just spilled out of me. I became so anxious, scared, and worried. Mark was brought in after I got my spinal shot block, and everything after that was just making sure our babies got out safe and alive. My OBGYN was supportive the entire time. She held my hands before Mark came in, and she talked to me during the procedure to give me peace of mind. When she started to call out "Baby A is out...Baby B is out" I began to cry. These tiny babies were now about to start their fight and we had to watch them on the sidelines.
I'm thankful for a life that I didn't need to be fed through a tube or worse and how I was able to carry my twins. Giving birth may not have been the way we would have wanted, but the fact is we were blessed to have twins. My scars carry stories, emotions, and pain. After 16 days our son passed away, and my c-section scar is a constant reminder of why that happened. The guilt I feel is always there, and I pray that God will free me from those chains. It's not an easy walk of life, and my scars aren't the same as yours. We all struggle to face reality and sometimes our body image is the one thing that prevents us to move forward and succeed.
We all have chains that bind us to different emotions and today I want to encourage you to start working on breaking through and finding yourself again. I have been able to accept mine more, and sharing this picture to the world isn't scary at all. It's breaking my silence and showing who I am. It shares the intimate moment with my baby, Selena and it shares the body that has been broken and shattered due to loosing her son. I believe in such a big GOD, and I know he has given me strength to push back and find my way. I'm not perfect and don't ever want to pretend to be, but I am truly thankful for the scars I carry and you should be too.
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